6 ways to know you bought a nice car (or that you didn’t buy a lousy one)

Posted by Car Magazine MotorPlay under Entertainment

1 Stop next to an older, tunned-up BMW at a traffic light. If the guy with the baseball cap on inside the Beemer looks down on you, you’re fine. If he seems to admire your car, it means you could have made a better choice. If he wants you to race him, you have to let somebody else choose the next car for you.

2 Paint it white. Do you like it better this way? Not good. Oh, if your car was white to start with, again, you should let somebody else choose the next car for you.

3 Ask your mother whether she likes it. If she says “it’s cute”, find a nice girl and sell it to her. If she says she likes it, hand her the keys and forget about it. If she says “it’s too mean/big/aggressive/modern”, you’re fine.

4 Go through the tunnel and over to France. It they like your car there, it means you bought a French one and therefore, that you didn’t choose very wisely. Go a little further over to Deutschland and if you like the Autobahn than you might have struck gold.

5 Dress up like an idiot. If people look normally at you when you get off the car, it means your new look matches that of the car, and that’s not good. If you take down you pants and still don’t get a reaction, it’s really bad. If people raise an eyebrow or maybe even two, you might still have a chance. Go home quickly and change.

6 Step 6 is very much like step 5, only more digital. It requires you to take a picture of a really ugly guy standing next to your car and then post it on Hi5. If you get girls or homos calling, than it’s clearly your car’s fault and you need to change it. Or look for an even uglier guy and try again.