All guns on Citroen

Posted by Car Magazine MotorPlay under News

I know some of you hate Arsenal and think Arsene Wenger is a big, French twat, and some of you would like to kill those who think that, but I hope we can all look at this from the view point of those few who don’t give a damn about football. Just for a few seconds, OK?

So the North London Club has just signed a 3 year contract with Citroen, which sees the Football Club taking delivery of a range of environment friendly (of course) vehicles from Citroen. These will range from the petit C1 to the stylish C5 and the roomy C4 Picasso. Coaches and ohter staff members will receive these for free, and in turn, they have to… well, do nothing. Just drive them around. If I were an employee of the Arsenal Club, I would start praying I don’t get the C1.

It’s play time with Mercedes

Posted by Car Magazine MotorPlay under News

If you’ve spent more than half your life blasting the PS2 controller now’s the chance to put all that wasted time, as your mother would describe it, to good use. Mercedes is launching this site and invites you to take virtual tour around a virtual London in a virtual Mercedes CLC 350 Sport. So it’s a fast virtual tour, then…

Those who will have the best times by the end of the summer will enter a prizedraw for the chance to a real driving experience at Mercedes-Benz World, at Brooklands, Surrey. I’m not sure your mother will agree, but I think that if you’ll win, you can feel at-peace with those long moments you used to neglect real life and fixate the screen with an empty gaze.

The WHY factor

Posted by Car Magazine MotorPlay under Entertainment

If you’re the kind of guy who first says ‘No’ and then thinks about the question he was asked, then you might ask yourself ‘why would I want something that’s not a motorcycle, nor a car?’ when looking at what Can-am has to offer. But the answer is really a very simple one: because it makes the most out of the two. And that’s what Can-am calls ‘the Y factor’. Well, that and the shape of the vehicle when looked at from above.

Car stability and somewhat safety combined with the thrills of riding a motorcycle, all with just your car driving licence. And some money, of course. Does it get better than this? Yes, but it requires that you die and that you’ve been a really good boy. And, anyway, no matter how good it is, it doesn’t have the Y factor…

Like it or not, it was the star of the show

Posted by Car Magazine MotorPlay under Vauxhall

This year, GM succeeded in stealing the show from all the other exhibitors with their premiere launch of the Vauxhall/Opel Insignia. I don’t know if all this was planned (of course it was) but that’s what they’ve done. It all started on the 21st, with the official launch down in Potters Field which saw the poor car drop from a considerable height and brake with just a few meters left from the ground. It was nice and it was short and to the point, and I’m one who appreciates that. Oh, and the car isn’t that bad either. Actually, it really looks promising. We’ll be keeping an eye on it and wait for the test drives to commence. Here are a few pictures form the Potters Field launche and the GM stand at the BIMS.

Sooooorrrryyyy

Posted by Car Magazine MotorPlay under News

A big SORRY from our whole team for the recent radio silence, but we’ve been recovering from all the things that happened at BIMS. But we’re back now…

What Will Schoey Do Next?

Posted by Car Magazine MotorPlay under Entertainment

The question isn’t `what will Schoey do next` but `what would you be willing to do for the huge amounts of money he’s being paid with?` And the answer to that, my friend, is almost anything that doesn’t involve large quantities of pig feces. Still, let’s not spoil the game and think about a few other things Schoey might do.

He might be paid to prevent a hijacked jet from taking off by driving around its wheels and tying them together just like Luke did in the first moments of The Empire Strikes Back. But wait, these films are about his partnership with Shell…

Well, he could get Lewis Hamilton to sit with him inside the petrol station and each time a customer comes in they would start fighting each other. I wouldn’t like that, as I think Hami wouldn’t stand a chance, but that would make a really nice hidden camera video.

Or, they could set up a mini-class room besides the counters with Schoey as the teacher and Kimi Raikkonen and Felipe Massa as the students. Of course, Schoey would get mad at Kimi’s total lack of response and some very nice things would come out of his mouth that will make you very sorry you’ve never studied German. Or at least German curse words…

These are a few things I think Schoey should do next. Maybe he should also sit at a table with a free chair in front of him and invite people to drink some engine oil with him. Or maybe hire him as a doorman, considering there are still some Shell stations without automatic doors. Or have him mop the floor. Or have him handing out toilet paper in the station’s toilets.

No, that’s just mean.

Don’t underestimate the Mexicans

Posted by Car Magazine MotorPlay under News

They may have built the old Beetle long after anywhere else in the world, but that doesn’t mean the Mexicans can’t do something that wasn’t designed by Hitler too. Behold the Mastretta. It’s a sports car that’s eagerly looking inside the supercars’ teritory. And it’s priced under 40,000 pounds. And if you look beyound this Lamborghini/Ford ST orange, it’s really not that bad looking. And no, it doesn’t smell like Burritos inside. Just like an Aston Martin doesn’t smell of fish and chips. Gee…

If I worked really, really hard…

Posted by Car Magazine MotorPlay under News

…and quit eating, maybe my kids will someday afford it. It’s a unique seventies Jaguar sports car that i’m talking about, which ususally resides in a museum Conventry, but these days it can be seen driving in Bradford. It’s estimated worth is around 14 milion pounds, so you can figure how much I used to spend on food…

If you thought the E-Type was a beautiful car, take a look at it’s daddy.

And the winner is…

Posted by Car Magazine MotorPlay under News

AUSTIN ALLEGRO!!! Yes, some 24 per cent of 4,000 voters (in an online poll) thought that the Austin Allegro was Britain’s wors car ever. I’m almost starting to feel bad for the little fellow…

A fair trade

Posted by Car Magazine MotorPlay under News

Here’s the chance to drive the minicar you’ve always dreamed of but never got the chance because you’ve opted for that Ferrari supercar. All you need to do is crash that dreaded Ferrari, take it to the dealer for repairs and they’ll give you one of the 60 special edition Fiat 500s which they use as courtesy cars. Sounds good, right?

Well it’s not just any Fiat 500, mind you. It’s a limited edition of 200 units, 60 of which will hit the UK dealers, of a red painted super Fiat 500 that is sure to turn as many heads as any of its similarly coloured supercars. It’s got special black leather steering wheel with red stitching, red calipers, sports pedal set and relatively large 16 alloy wheels, considering the size of the car.

I have no idea what it’s like to drive a supercar everyday, but I figure it would be a nice change. At least it will be a good mocking subject for your other friends with supercars… but what do they know?